We Are Legion (We Are Bob)

Book 3: Chapter 73: Moot

Book 3: Chapter 73: Moot

Bill Nôv(el)B\\jnn

January 2258

BobNet

I gave the usual blaat with the air horn, and waited for the standard well-wishes to die down. This was the largest moot we’d ever held, by a considerable margin—even with about half of our Bobs still just backups, and half of the active ones still in cradles, waiting for a ship to be built.

I would have preferred to wait until everyone was active again, but a growing background of discontent in the Bobiverse had me worried. Best to get it out in the open. I looked at Thor, who seemed to be the de facto spokesman for what I was privately starting to think of as the dissidents. I didn’t want to overstate it—it wasn’t like we were going to start shooting at each other. After all, despite the differences of opinion, we were still all Bob at the core.

Thor looked around, gauging the mood of the audience. Then he faced me. “Bill, it’s really simple. For the last hundred-plus years, we’ve been essentially in the service of the humans. We all remember the first meeting with you, Riker, Mario, Milo, and Bob. We all remember each person’s decision to explore, settle, and so on. But most of us have, one way or another, ended up spending most of our existences shepherding humans, guarding humans, transporting humans, and arguing with humans. It’s tiring.”

A growl of approval greeted this last statement. I looked around and realized that, to a greater or lesser extent, most of the Bobs present agreed. Even many of the earlier-generation Bobs.

Garfield stepped forward. “Bill, remember that discussion we had about us being Homo sideria?”

Thor looked at me, not conceding anything with his expression. “Maybe. And let’s face it, Bill, we’re not asking for—or threatening—anything irreversible or irrevocable. We just want the humans, and maybe the elder Bobs, to understand and accept that the species of Bob is not available as their collective workhorse. If individual Bobs want to help out, fine. But if the humans get themselves into another mess like the last one, I don’t think we’re going to all jump in and throw ourselves under the bus for them.”

“Will you require a treaty?”

Thor laughed. “Nothing that formal, Bill. Just the statement, and the understanding.”

I looked around at the Bobs in the room. It seemed to be a majority opinion, from the expressions. Well, what the hell.

“All right, Thor. I’ll put together a statement, get some input on it, then distribute it to the colonies.”

“And some of them,” Garfield said, smiling, “will go ballistic.”

“Oh, depend on it.”