Living in another world as an Oni!

Chapter 57: The Art of Squirrel Diplomacy

Chapter 57: Chapter 57: The Art of Squirrel Diplomacy

Scarface 2 chittered furiously, its tiny claws scratching against the shimmering barrier. Behind it, an army of puffed-up, battle-ready squirrels squeaked in unison, their tails twitching like tiny, furry banners of war.

"Do you even understand what they're saying?" I asked, watching the chaotic display of rodent rage with a raised brow.

"Of course not," Leah replied, deadpan, her hands steady as she maintained the barrier. "But diplomacy is universal. If they like something, we can trade for it."

I squinted at her. "Pretty sure blackmail isn't considered diplomacy."

She ignored my comment entirely, crouching to meet Scarface 2's beady little gaze. "Here's the deal," she began, her tone matter-of-fact. "You let us take some of your fruit, and in return, we'll leave without turning your precious grove into a battlefield. Fair trade, right?"

Scarface 2 tilted its head, looking at her as if she'd just suggested turning its family tree into kindling.

"See? They're not buying it," I muttered, leaning against my sword. "They probably don't even know what you're saying."

Leah sighed dramatically. "Fine. Plan B." She rummaged through her satchel and pulled out a small pouch, opening it to reveal a handful of gleaming, colorful gems. My stomach dropped.

"Wait a second." I squinted at the familiar shimmer of the stones. "Are those—?"

"Shiny, right?" Leah cut me off with a grin, holding the pouch just out of my reach. "Trade these for your fruit. You can hoard them, chew on them, whatever you want."

Those were my gems!! My gems! (╥_╥)

The ones I'd painstakingly traded from that traveling merchant—the one who insisted on calling herself. I'd endured her dramatic hand flourishes, constant winks, and endless stories about her "mysterious origins," all to get those gems. And now they were about to end up in squirrel paws.

"Leah!" I hissed, outraged. "Those are mine!"

She waved me off. "Relax. It's for the greater good."

Scarface 2 and its posse, meanwhile, had fallen silent. Their eyes locked on the gems with a hunger I recognized all too well—because it was exactly how I'd looked at those gems when I first saw them.

"Doubt it," she said. "We gave them what they wanted."

"Yeah, my gems," I muttered, my shoulders slumping.

Leah rolled her eyes. "You can't take shinies to the grave, you know." She said with a playful smirk.

Annoying woman!

I scowled. "I wasn't planning on dying anytime soon. Especially not to a squirrel."

"Good attitude," she said with a smirk, tossing another piece of fruit into the air and catching it. "But if it makes you feel better, I'll buy you new gems next time."

I perked up slightly. "Really?"

"Sure. As long as you don't mind them being fake."

My mood soured instantly.

---

Later that night, as I lay staring up at the stars, I couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't the last we'd see of Scarface 2 and its gang. Sure, we'd escaped unscathed this time, but something about those squirrels—their cunning, their organization—sent a chill down my spine.

"If I see another squirrel," I muttered under my breath, "I'm moving all of us to the desert."

Titan, ever silent, gave me a single nod of agreement. At least someone understood.

Leah, of course, overheard and snickered from her side of the campfire. "You'd probably just end up trading with desert lizards instead."

I groaned, throwing an arm over my face. One fluffy-tailed menace at a time.