Legendary Shelter Survival Guide

Chapter 97 Lucas's personality

"lucas..." john sighed hard, he knew this day would come.

"why do you think that you can't do it?"

lucas pondered for a few seconds and just replied with another question.

"why can't we take it like this? you are good at leadership, you should pursue it to make things much better and i... i will think of something."

"you know this right? that you're better at this leadership thing than me?"

"what?" lucas didn't know why the man said that, he was clearly not up for it.

"i observed all the times you were there for your people. in that dimension, those orders that you gave? it made us coordinate better and survive. if you think i am good at leadership, you are probably right."

lucas looked at john who was smiling, the moonlight was falling on his beard makings some white beard hair glimmer.

"but i still lack something that i will probably never have, but you already have it. it makes you different than the others and we need this quality in a leader, the times are callous lucas."

"what quality are you talking about?"

lucas's mood had changed from gloomy to curious for the first time in the whole night.

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"sigh... there is no way to ask this... but do you have some issues with your personality? sorry for asking this strough forward but i know that you won't mind" john asked right at lucas's face which made lucas very surprised.

"issues? i don't understand."

"believe me, you're a very good kid. you're kind, you take care of all of us like your own. but sometimes... i get this feeling that you want something more and there is a flip in that kind of personality. i am only saying this now as i think we are close enough. don't answer if you don't want to."

john was moving on eggshells with this topic which was not the typical him. lucas kept looking at him with his mind somewhere else scaring him further that he messed up and hurt him by saying all that.

"damn... i never would have said this in front of someone else, but you have caught on with me." lucas said and stopped before he started the next seconds with a deep breath.

"there is this thing inside me that gets awakened from time to time. it has been happening from a young age but i have been suppressing it. i... get a drive to fight with anything i see. i just think about ways i can take the person or things down even if the latter is peaceful. even i don't understand why this is.

sorry, i have already said everything and i don't think anything is coming out of this conversation..." lucas said.

he was very embarrassed after saying all that in front of someone for the first time. he thought that john would just take it as lucas making these things up to look cool or something but he knew that it was not all that.

"do you have the feeling to kill?" john asked with a serious face.

"no no, never. i just have this drive to just fight and see it through. i wanna fight to the death but not kill. i want to shed blood and make bloodshed of others while i fight but not death." lucas clarified many things that made john finally relieved.

"lucas, all this that you have told me. this is all just part of your personality. you want to fight, i get it. i also know now that this drive inside you that you just explained with 'awakened', its just an innocent fighting spirit. there is nothing wrong with it at all."

when lucas looked at john's smile, he knew that the man had trusted what he said. lucas was so touched that he just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. the first time he told anyone about it and he not even believed it but also gave an explanation like a therapist.

"but i am not done."